Nightmares
by soultoast
Summary: A glimpse into the nightmares of the crew. Please R&R.
1. Inadequate

Title: Nightmares

Genre: Drama

Author: soultoast 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: "The Shipment."

Pairings: None.

Disclaimer: All I own are the crackers I eat, but not Star Trek.

Author's Note: This will be a series of what the crew's nightmares are like

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_ As she walked down the cold, dark hallway, she trailed her fingers along the cool metal.  Her hair was pulled back into a braid that lay against her bare skin.  She could hear her heart beating in her ears, her feet stepping in time to its ancient rhythm.  She spun around quickly at the sound of laughter but saw no one.  Children were laughing, their high pitched voices fading in and out._

_"Is anyone there?" she called.  _

_Her voice echoed through the empty hallway.  As she turned around, she looked down.  She was in a nightgown.  It was long and white, with capped sleeves.  It was the gown she remembered her mother wearing.  She wanted to run back to her quarters and change, but she couldn't.  They needed her._

_The turbolift door in front of her opened of its own accord. She clasped her hands together and entered.  The inside was dead and grey, a weak light blinking on and off as it fought for illumination.  She didn't say her destination, it knew where she needed to go.  It took an eternity to reach the bridge.  When it did, the doors slid open noiselessly.  As she headed to her station, she looked at the screen; it was Earth, they were home.  She sat in her chair and hit a blinking light on her panel.  The face of a Xindi Reptillian appeared onscreen._

_"Rictora shi nooran!" it yelled._

_"What is he saying?" Captain Archer asked, turning to face her._

_"I don't know Sir, the UT is down," she stammered._

_"Rictora shi nooran!" the Xindi yelled again.  _

_She frantically tried to get the UT working, but her hands were shaking too much._

_"Rictora shi nooran!" it yelled again.  _

_The pounding in her head and chest became louder; nothing was working.  The Xindi disappeared from the view screen, and Earth was once again visible.  As she frantically ran her fingers over the controls, the bridge was bathed in white light.  She looked up and saw the rubble of the planet swirling through space.  Her eyes filled with tears as she looked over at the Captain.  She gasped and shuddered as she saw him covered in grotesque bruising with blood running down his face. _

_"Why didn't you save us?" he asked.  _

_This was wrong, all wrong.  She stood and tried to run.  She reached the turbolift, but it opened to reveal Commander Tucker.  His face was untouched, but his eyes were cold and dead.  She slowly looked down and saw the bleeding, gaping pit in his chest where his heart should have been.  _

_"You let them die," he drawled, raising an arm and pointing to the shattered planet on the view screen.  "You killed them."_

_She turned and tried to get away, but Malcolm stood in her path.  His face was a blank mask, cuts and scars grinning angrily at her from his face._

_"You let us down," he whispered._

_"I'm sorry, I tried!  I'm sorry I wasn't good enough!" she screamed.  Malcolm said nothing as he raised his hand to her mouth.  She flailed against him, trying to scream against his hand._

_"You killed us all," he echoed as his other hand closed around her throat._

Hoshi jerked to consciousness in her small cabin.  She lifted the blanket and relaxed as she saw her grey pajamas.  It was all a dream.  But as she tried to calm herself and go back to sleep, it echoed in her head.

_ "You killed us all."_


	2. Fail

Title: Nightmares

Genre: Horror/Angst

Author: soultoast 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: "Twilight."

Pairings: None.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: This is just for fun (morbid, evil fun), but I did this based on the idea that while he and T'Pol are friends, he isn't stupid enough to think they have a romantic future.

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_He yawned as he awoke, sunlight streaming in through the windows.  He liked waking before the alarm told him to, giving him time to lie in his bed and watch her.  He turned onto his side and looked down at her face.  It was blurry, featureless, and yet he loved and knew her.  She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, the angel that had saved him.  He watched as the sunlight bathed her, her hair becoming a golden halo.  He moved closer to her, pulling the blankets over her bare shoulder and putting his arm around her.  She was his wife, the mother of his children, his love._

_From the next room, he heard a thump.  He smiled softly, his sons were awake.  As he slipped from his marriage bed, he was surprised at the change in his life.  Ten years ago, he would have thought it impossible to live happily on Earth.  While being an Admiral at __Starfleet__Academy__ was satisfying, it was his family that gave him joy.  His family was the difference in his life, they were what made life whole.  As he shrugged on his robe, he walked into the boys' room.  The sky outside had turned grey._

_He couldn't find his sons, they weren't there.  Their beds were empty, their toys all broken._

_"Jon?  Henry?" he called softly.  His wife was resting peacefully in the next room; he didn't want to wake her.  He turned and saw his eldest son, Henry.  Only now Henry was burned, his flesh falling from his bones.  This wasn't right._

_"Henry?" he murmured.  He felt the bile rising in his throat as his son disappeared into a cloud of ash.  He sprinted into his bedroom and pulled back the covers.  His wife, his heart, was now nothing more than a charred skeleton.  He shook his head as panic rose in his chest.  He collapsed onto the bed and pulled her remains to her._

_"No, no, no, no, no, no," he chanted as tears slipped down his face.  He looked out the window and watched as the world outside crumbled and died in a beam of light.  He'd failed his family, he'd failed earth._

Jon's eyes opened suddenly.  He stared at the cold, grey ceiling, his heart pounding.  As he inhaled slowly, he could hear the sound of warp engine.  His pulse slowed, the panic leaving his body; he wouldn't find sleep again.


	3. Alone

Title: Nightmares

Genre: Drama

Author: soultoast 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: "Twilight."

Pairings: None.

Disclaimer: Yo tengo nada.

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_The alarm buzzed in his ear.  He struggled to keep his eyes shut; he didn't want to wake up for alpha shift.  It was too damn early.  He groaned as he turned off the alarm and rolled out of his bunk.  He stumbled into the bathroom and showered.  He was ready in fifteen minutes, a virtue of being male.  He exited his quarters and headed towards the mess hall.  A small shiver traveled up his spine, he hadn't run into anyone yet.  As he entered the mess hall, he found it empty.  The tables were bare and the air didn't hold the smell of breakfast.  One explanation popped into his mine: they were under attack. _

_He bolted out of the mess hall and down the corridor.  A small voice whispered at the back of his mind, but he ignored it.  As he entered the turbolift, he tapped his hand against his thigh; the damn lift was taking forever.  As it reached the bridge, the doors opened to an empty room.  It was quiet, the only sound the gentle static of the comm station.  Eyes wide, he circled the bridge, passing by each of the stations.  The view screen only showed small stars against a blanket of darkness; no ships, no planets.  He checked T'Pol's station, then Reed's; no anomalous readings.  Nothing._

_As the panic rose inside his chest, he turned and ran back into the turbolift.  He went to engineering, but the quiet hum of the engine was all he found.  He tried the cargo bay, the armory, the shuttle bay.  Nothing; he was alone.  He didn't know what to do, but he wasn't hungry any longer.  He drifted towards the turbolift.  Unsure, he went to the bridge.  Inside, he felt cold.  He didn't know how long it took him to reach the bridge, he didn't care anymore._

_He wandered over to the tactical station, then the science station.  There was nothing.  He slowly raised his eyes to the screen and the cold dark that lay there.  Slowly, he sank to the ground as the darkness enveloped him.  He was alone._

The alarm buzzed in his ear.  He struggled to keep his eyes shut; he didn't want to wake up for alpha shift.  It was too damn early.  He groaned as he turned off the alarm and rolled out of his bunk.  Travis stumbled into the bathroom and showered.  He dressed quickly, eager to chase the cold feeling from his mind and find his friends.  He didn't want to be alone.


	4. Ashes to Ashes

Title: Nightmares

Genre: Drama

Author: soultoast 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: "Twilight."

Pairings: none.

Disclaimer: I have a new back pack, but alas, there was not a deed to Paramount in my Christmas stocking.

Author's Note:  Sorry it took so long to update.  My computer malfunctioned, so I sent it in for servicing and it did not return until mid December, at which point I was at home, the land of bad computers and crappy internet connections.  As always, please read and review.

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_The acrid smell stung his nostrils. A thought drifted across his mind, whispering to him; they're all gone.  He started across the black land and checked his scanner.  The map on his scanner told him the truth he feared._

_"This is where I played football with my dad."  The charred black earth before him was littered with ash.  The _Florida___ wind blew, stirring the dry remains.  The heat of the weapon had been so intense that it was impossible to determine which ashes had even been human._

_The scarred land was striped of all landmarks.  If it weren't for his scanner, he wouldn't have been able to recognize his childhood home.  He turned and gazed out at what had once been the ocean; now it existed only as a black crater.  The churning in his stomach traveled into his throat.  He fell to his knees and vomited onto the charred earth.  He'd been here less than a year ago; there had been green grass that had given way to sand dunes that slipped into the glittering sea.  Now it was gone, all of it.  His family, his friends, everything; there were no remains to be buried, and no land for them to be buried in.  He was alone.  He couldn't save his sister, and he'd failed his family.  He turned towards the sun.  It mocked him as it cast down life-sustaining rays onto the barren planet.  They were gone._

Trip jerked to consciousness.  The cool dark room and the calm hum of the engines soothed him as the panic in he chest subsided.  He starred into the darkness; what had scared him, what had he been dreaming of?  He drew his knees up to his chest, resting his forehead on them.  He shut his eyes and tried to peer into his subconscious, searching for a thread from his dream.  As the stars flew past his windows, a single thought floated back to his brain. 

_They're gone.  _

His dream flooded his brain; the destruction of Earth and his family, the burned remains.  The pain hit his chest, the memory of the stench churning his stomach.  He swallowed the nausea as tears pricked his eyes.  He felt the bile rising in his throat and he rushed to his bathroom.  He dropped to his knees and wretched into the toilet.  He wouldn't allow that to happen.  Some dreams would not come true.   It wasn't true, his dream hadn't happened yet.  He repeated the facts like a mantra, trying to maintain a semblance of calm.  A sob ripped from his throat as he collapsed onto the bathroom floor.  Earth hadn't been destroyed, his parents were still alive, but the pain remained.  He cried in his dark room, alone, the smell of burned ash lingering in his mind.


	5. Hollow Victory

Title: Nightmares.

Author: soultoast

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Pretty much the whole damn third season.

Disclaimer:  I own my pretty computer, but that's it.

Pairings: Unnamed, unrequited, but you'll figure it out.

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_He turned the corner, prepared to meet the  Reptilian boarding party.  A flash of disruptor fire stuck the bulkhead beside him.  __Sparks__ erupted as he dove onto the floor.  He quickly rolled onto his knees, his phaser at the ready.  He counted three before he fired, killing one Xindi instantly.  Behind him, a group of five MACO arrived.  They immediately got into position and fired, killing the other two._

_"There are reports of Xindi in engineering!" he shouted as he moved down the corridor.  He didn't wait for a response; he knew the MACO would follow him.  His communicator beeped._

_"Yes?!"___

_T'Pol's__ whisper was drowned out by crackles.  "Xindi… on the bridge…"_

_The line died as his heart stopped in his chest.  He turned and faced the MACO behind him._

_"Get down to engineering!  I'm going to the bridge!"_

_Sargent__ Kemper nodded and led his men down the corridor.  He bolted towards the Jeffries tube.  He practically tore the hatch off as he opened it.  He slipped inside and climbed up the ladder.  His senses were heightened from the adrenaline coursing through his veins.  His hands were clammy, squeaking from his tight grip on the rungs of the ladder.  He quickly reached the bridge Jeffries tubes and entered the security code.  H crawled quickly until he reached the desired hatch.  He gently raised the hatch a centimeter pressed his ear against the small crack.  He raised his scanner; the readings indicated that the Captain's ready-room was empty.  He quietly hopped out of the tube.  He raised his scanner; there were two Xindi on the bridge.  He flattened himself against the wall beside the door.  He punched in his override code, then punched the door open.  He fell to his knees and fired at the Xindi who guarded Captain Archer.  T'Pol used the distraction and attacked the Xindi near her.  She quickly kicked his weapon out of his hands.  She then grasped the alien's head and twisted it.  A muffled crack sounded from the Reptilian's neck as he collapsed onto the deck._

_Archer went over to Travis, studying the Ensign's wounds.  They needed a pilot if they were going to survive this attack.  T'Pol immediately went to the communications consol and hailed engineering.  Trip answered and confirmed that they'd stopped the boarding party.  An audible wave of relief descended upon the NX-01.  His senses were still heightened, and he could almost hear the shouts of joy as he rounded the Captain's chair.  He stared at the floor beside the communication's console.  She lay on the ground, her velvet eyes staring blankly up.  A dark burn on a chest told the story of her death.  He felt his knees give out.  His hand shot out, catching the Captain's chair.  He dropped his phaser and stumbled across the suddenly empty bridge.  He reached her body and knelt beside her.  He gently stretched out a hand and brushed his fingers against the black silk of her hair.  As tears fell from his stoic eyes, a sob tore from his throat.  The pain covered his chest and stomach like a lead blanket.  He couldn't breath._

The pain and fear screamed through his mind, waking him up.  He quickly opened his eyes: the clock on his desk read 0400.  He still had two hours until his shift.  Malcolm quickly sat up.

"Lights," he called.  The bright lights turned on immediately, stinging his eyes.  He grasped the security report that sat on the bedside table.  He resumed his reading at the highlighted section.  There were some things that he felt he shouldn't dwell on, the least of which being the imagined death of a fellow officer.  As he became engaged in his reading, he tried to push from his mind all the things that wouldn't happen, and those that he wouldn't allow.


End file.
